My conversion to Jesus ! more than 10 year ago !
I was born as a catholic. I have received religious education but I did not know Jesus, and I was not convinced of what was the truth. I am a nerd, and my interests in the past were video games, mangas (comics) and computers… God did not interest me.
At 20, I found my first girlfriend ever. This girl was every of my first times; Holding Hands, kissing lips, saying I love you, ETC
this relation was really bad, we were always fighting, breaking up and starting over all the time. At this time, I used to think it was normal because I had seen this happening all the time in my family and the couple never finished. But one day, after more or less 2 years : my relationship with this girl really finished. After understanding it really was over, my heart was completely broken (because for me, love never dies), and all of my nerd universe did bot seem to heal me.
I was desperate. I thought of suicide. But I dont know why : in my heart I had been feeling an interest for something before the suicide : looking for God. Is God real or not ?
As I am a nerd, my research took place on the Internet (websites, forum, chats). I am a really factual guy, I like facts… 1 + 1 = 2 and I was very much afraid of being wrong.
I had begun with religions like Buddhism but honestly, I put this in practice and it did not work, this religion only tells about the softer : kiss your softer, but it did not work.
I looked up a lot for Judaism, but I have understood one thing is missing in this religion, all the time waiting for the messiah… I also have learn a lot about Islam because in Paris you have a lot of muslim, but in the Coran, I have seen Love nowhere, only a just an powerful god yes, but rude. And not a guarantee of paradise.
Until one day I went to an atheist website explaining that Jesus did not exist, all of the arguments were false but at the time I did not know.
after having read every point I dont know why but I said something like « Lord Jesus it is impossible you dont exist », and after this I fell to the ground and I cried, hot air was coming out of my mouth and my forearms were burning. i do not know for how long (10mns,1hour...) it went but then I got up and my heart was completely healed and… the belief that Jesus was the truth. it's been over 10 years !
after this I asked God to find people like me : loving Jesus totally, because my friends of the time didnt love Jesus, and nothing around me. After this God told me that my need for these jesus lovers was church. I answered : church ? no it is impossible because I was born in a church and these people dont like you. After this, God showed me churchs full of people who loved him. My first church was an african church : "totally black" ! I remember well because in the church there was just one white guy, and he told me "Pascal I dont like you because before you arrived i was the only white guy and now we are two!". after more or less a month I prayed Jesus again to get another church because this one was too far away (3hours from my house to go and come back), and I found a church in Paris, where I received a lot of love and really good instructions of the word of God and took my baptism.
The pastor of this church used to treat me as a son and blessed me so much, all the church used to say at the time that I'l was like his son and like a little pastor of the pastor, because I used to naturally speak and move the same way he did. Aniway, after this my Christian life continued, super good at some points and not so good at others. I have already took bad choices but never turned my back in all of my years of surrendering to Jesus. I have realised something that i am really sure if : maybe I can change, take good and bad choices, but God never changes, he is, at all time, full of love for me.
I'm not better than you, Jesus can do the same for you, he wants to, just accept him in your life. You are a sinner, Jesus is perfect, he has died for you in the Cross and resurected 3 days after, this sacrifice, he did for you, to pay for your sins. Jesus lives forever, Jesus is God. Jesus is my love.